Andy Walsh Singer-Songwriter
Lyrics to - ... Under The Bed
Lyrics to - Getting Rid Of The ......
Pretty Girls In The Sun
We’ve arranged to meet in a pub I know
That’s down by the river
I’ve never been out on a blind date before
I’ve got some melting chocolates I want to give ya
I’ll know you by the red bow in your hair
You’ll know me by my rolled up paper
And I bet you‘re so pretty
That you won’t even notice me
I’ve been sitting on a wall in the beer garden
Nursing a pint or two
I’ve been soaking up the sun in the beer garden
Baby I’m still waiting on you
I’ve been casting my eye around the place
Seeing what I can see
The girls are so pretty
And they don’t even notice me
The girls are all wearing their summer dresses
They’ll only be out for a while
One’s got something in the corner of her eye
It’s the beginning of a smile
Now her friends are all laughing out loud
And I wish I’d heard what she said
The girls are so pretty
And they don’t even notice me
No one’s having more fun than
The pretty girls in the sun man
They’re laughing away their whole afternoon
And if you don’t show up soon
With a red bow in your hair
I’ll be taking my chances with the girls who
Are much too pretty to care
The girls are so pretty
And they don’t even notice me
I’m pretty full of Dutch courage
And I’m hoping my voice won’t crack
As I approach the girl with the laughing eyes
Melted chocolates behind my back
As she turns to see me I see
She’s got a red bow in her hair
But so have all the others
The pretty girls who don’t have a care
The girls are so pretty
And they don’t even notice me
Spending A While With Jeremy Kyle
I was spending some time surfing online
Looking at my family tree
I was spending a while watching Jeremy Kyle
On day-time tv.
Now I was happy with that just stroking the cat
When it suddenly occurred to me
That the weirdoes on there were pretty mild fare
When compared to my family
My Great Auntie Kate had been the first mate
On a schooner to Botany Bay
All the crew did applaud
The way that she’d whored
There were discounts every day
When she got there
She was financially set fair
For the life of a lady of leisure
But a girl like Kate wanted to dedicate
Her life to a life of pleasure
So a whoring she went with an elderly gent
As her tough minder
Another one of the clan was a real wild man
He married a grizzly bear
When he was asked why he had he replied, “Are you mad?
She sleeps for six months of the year!
When she’s awake make no mistake
She can be a bit temperamental
She catches salmon so well that my heart starts to swell
And she’d kill you if you said I was mental!”
I was spending some time surfing online
Looking at my family tree
I was spending a while watching Jeremy Kyle
On day-time t v.
Now I was happy with that just stroking the cat
When it suddenly occurred to me
That the weirdoes on there were pretty mild fare
When compared to my family
Sitting On A Haystack
Sitting on a haystack in the summertime
It’s hot baby it’s hot
Wishing that the girl sat next to me
Was in love with me but she’s not
I’ve known her now for a long long time
She’s the best friend that I’ve got
She’s beautiful and she’s sexy too
She really has got the lot
Sitting on a haystack in the summertime
It’s hot baby it’s hot
Wishing that the girl sat next to me
Was in love with me but she’s not
She likes birds and bees and the wind in the trees
And the green green grass we’re atop
She likes good food and a swim in the nude
And she doesn’t like to shop
Sitting on a haystack in the summertime
It’s hot baby it’s hot
Wishing that the girl sat next to me
Was in love with me but she’s not
She smells so good and her only vice
Is she thinks that I’m… ‘quite nice’?
And the troublesome drones on their telephones
Calling her up in the night
They drive me mad
And I felt so bad
That I wrote her a letter
Now I feel better
Sitting on a haystack in the summertime
It’s hot baby it’s hot
Wishing that the girl sat next to me
Was in love with me but she’s not
If I’m Being Honest
I’m gonna wear my ragged vest
It’s the one I like the best
It’s got holes and it smells a bit
Quite a lot
If I’m being honest
It makes the girls all run away
Why that is I couldn’t say
Maybe it’s because it’s a shade of grey
That doesn’t match their clothing
If I’m being honest
Homelessness is no fun
And I’m not the only one
Living on food-banks and handouts
In my lucky vest
If I’m being honest
I went for an interview
My lucky vest came along too
It was with someone I once knew
I’m still looking for a job to do
If I’m honest
People have pissed on me while I’ve been sleeping
Spat on me while I’ve been awake
And then an unexpected kindness
Takes away all of that hate
If I’m honest
All I want is a place of my own
Somewhere that I can call my home
With a hook to hang my vest
Out of the rain
If I’m being honest
It ain’t that hard to do
Build council houses
A million or two
That’s what I think ‘They’ should do
It’s cold out tonight
If I’m being honest
When they lay me in my grave
Which won’t be in too many days
The undertaker’s gonna have to be brave
Coz I wanna be wearing my vest
If I’m honest
Dead honest
All songs © Andy Walsh
Far Far Away
Far far away
Just around the corner
But further away than we can possibly comprehend
Sits an old man
Playing his guitar
In the key of b-flat minor
Coz he likes it that way.
He is sending out a message
Across the universe
Hoping that someone will hear his music
And the words of each and every verse
But we will only hear it
If we stop and listen
And that’s the old man’s curse
Coz no-one ever does and what’s worse
He’s condemned to know it
But he still keeps trying
And he’d been looking for signs of life in our old Milky Way.
He’s found us
And he’s trying to get through
But the chit chat is too noisy
And the web traffic is too
He’s been pickin’ up beats from pulsars
He’s been spinning tunes off Mars
He’s been bouncing chords off Venus
His songs have been played in galactic bars
So I ask you, when you’re out not in
Please stop and look at the heavens
Shut your eyes and listen
See if you can hear him
If you can
Then try to sing a song back to him
Over the general din.
Girls In My Life
The first of many, was Penny
But I was too young, to understand
There goes Susie, she makes me woozy
She was the breaker of my heart
When it healed over, I was in clover
Coz I had Judy, lookin’ after my heart
Didn’t take long, before I was gone
Looking for a bad girl, to be my wife.
I found Kerry, she was quite scary
And she cut my heart out, with a blunt knife
And replaced it with a stone
Replaced it with a stone
Replaced it with a stone
She replaced it with a stone
I was now a heart breaker, emotional faker
First class, out on my own
Then the love of my life, who should have been my wife
Drifted away in a cloud of tears
It took a while, before I could smile
Laughing wasn’t easy at all
Without all of you, I wouldn’t be able to
Fully understand,
What it takes, what makes
A fully grown-up man
It’s the girls in my life, the girls in my life
The girls in my life, Girls In My Life.
Molly
She’s a Bluegrass angel
With a sparkle in her eyes
When you fall in love with Molly
Shouldn’t be a surprise at all
That you fall
For Molly.
You write her love letters
But you never hear back
But it doesn’t really matter
As a matter of fact
It’s cool, if you’re a fool
For Molly
The way she plays a guitar
She’s second to none
And her smile is as bright
As the mid-summer sun
It’s up there shining on
Molly
She’s got a voice all her own
That’s both haunting and fierce
It could capture your heart
Your soul it could pierce
When you sing along
With Molly.
Should you try to run away
Don’t you ever look back
Don’t look over your shoulder
Or you’ll have a complete relapse
As you fall back in love
With Molly
For The Many
If you take a turn to the left instead of turning right
All the good things that you dream of
Will move into the light
We live with peace and love hidden deep within our hearts
Let’s give them to the people
That is how a movement starts
When the people start believing in justice and fair play
And start living in hope not fear, this movement is on its way
This song is for the many
Not the fat cat few
Come along and join us there’s so much for us to do.
Reach into your heart see what you find
There’s gold in there I’m sure of it and it ain’t the spending kind
If we take a turn to the left instead of turning right
All the good things that we dream of will move into the light
All songs © Andy Walsh